In 36 hours I'll be on a plane on my way to Hawaii with my family. There are 17 of us going. I'm really excited.
And I received about $3000 of graduation money. $2500 was from my grandparents. I'm saving about half for tuition this year and livin big with the rest. I'm planning on visiting my April in DC. :) Then possibly going on a Caribbean cruise. I'm definitely going to the National Folk Festival in Butte and camping out with my good friend from up north Brigitte. I really want to go to Vegas and see the guys from Pawn Stars, cuz it's only my favorite show.
Besides all that, my personal relationships are brightening, one in particular :)
I feel like things are finally going the way I want them to and it makes me happy to an untold degree. Something I've waited for/wanted for a long time is coming into being. :D Yay!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Confusion
I'm not sure how this is possible, but there is one thing that throughout high school has almost always confused me. But at the same time, it's the one thing I feel I've learned the most about. I've been at a perpetual level of confusion for over 3 years. And yet, I think this is the only solid idea that I'm coming away with.
I've cried, I've laughed, I've been the epitome of happiness and of sadness. It's made me expressive as well as speechless.
This, I care about it so much, but have had overwhelming feelings not to. I wanted for so long to understand and now, I have mixed feeling about wanting to understand and having to accept the truth. Doing so makes it a reality, and after 3 years, I think I'm even less ready for it to be a reality. It was so pleasant not knowing, and being able to dream any way I wanted to.
All this time it been just that, a dream of sorts. Now whether good, bad, or indifferent, it's coming to a point, a jumping off point perhaps. A fork in the road that can't be ignored for much longer.
I've cried, I've laughed, I've been the epitome of happiness and of sadness. It's made me expressive as well as speechless.
This, I care about it so much, but have had overwhelming feelings not to. I wanted for so long to understand and now, I have mixed feeling about wanting to understand and having to accept the truth. Doing so makes it a reality, and after 3 years, I think I'm even less ready for it to be a reality. It was so pleasant not knowing, and being able to dream any way I wanted to.
All this time it been just that, a dream of sorts. Now whether good, bad, or indifferent, it's coming to a point, a jumping off point perhaps. A fork in the road that can't be ignored for much longer.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
some silly survey
Does anyone of the opposite sex have the same name as you?
Jessie, yes, but not Jessica
You watch 'The Simpsons' right?
used to
Is there a girl that you would do absolutely anything for?
family
Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
I'm just in a bad mood.
Have you ever been cheated on?
Not that I'm aware of
Are you dating the last person you talked to?
nope
Would you consider painting your bedroom purple?
no
Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
dillards
Are there any posters in your room?
no
Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
not particularly, they're kinda expensive
What is stressing you out most right now?
school
Are you a talkative person?
at times
What kind of neighborhood do you live in?
a "dangerous" and "impoverished" kind of one.
Does the smell of cigarettes, weed and beer repulse you?
not really. of the 3 beer bothers me the most
What was the last thing that made you crack up hardest?
Jon's laptop talking to him
What was the last thing you tripped over?
the new furniture, not used to it
Do you think mailmen deliver their own mail?
i would imagine. But they may also use po boxes, for pure convenience
Will you be one of those old people with 11 cats?
never, i can't stand pet hair
Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies?
yep
Have you ever been called beautiful?
sure
Take your pick, cupcakes or muffins?
uh cupcakes duh, frosting = sugar
Do you like waffles?
frozen waffles, not big on the fresh ones
Do you wish someone would call you?
not really
Have you ever heard a young child swear?
my brothers swear a lot
Your phone rings. What is your ring tone?
idk, some generic nokia ring tone
Did you go anywhere today?
school, otl, Jon's, home
Anything upset you lately?
yep
How is your hair?
blah
who's house did you last walk to?
I don't really walk anywhere.
Last time you had someone sleep over? And who?
it's been years. Friends never come to my house
What's bothering you right now?
my mood
Do you get jealous easily?
yeah, very much so
Do you have any plans for the day after tomorrow?
thursday, no.
What time did you wake up today?
5:45
What were you doing two nights ago?
sunday, I went to fellowship
Name something you can't wait for:
high school to be over
How much cash do you have on you?
none, twenty in my purse though
What were you doing at midnight last night?
texting in my sleep, haha found that out this morning
Are you happy with the way things are going in your life?
yea
Can you easily tell if someone's fake?
it takes me a few encounters, but i can usually tell
Is there someone you don't ever want to be out your life?
family
Is it hard for you to get over someone?
no, not at all
Does someone like you right now?
i'm not sure
Can you call your ex without it being awkward?
no, it would be pretty awkward
Do you still talk to the person you last kissed on the lips?
yeah
Will you be in a relationship one month from now?
i dont think so
Could you go a day not talking to the last person you kissed?
i could, but i usually don't
Is your room ever clean?:
no
Do you drink bottled water?
when we have it at home
Honestly, are things going the way you planned?
can't say they are
Do you hate the last person who called you?
it was my mommy, so no
Think back five months ago, what was your relationship status?
single, as I am now.
Name something you liked about the day you're having?
I felt very productive in newspaper
Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
i've been in a bad mood this afternoon
If you are being extremely quiet, what does that mean?
im probably pissed, or annoyed
Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them?
yea, i guess so
Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single?
I believe he is
Does anyone disgust you?
that's a little harsh, but there are a few ppl that nearly disgust me
When was the last time you cried?
within the last week, i think
Why was that?
emotional about school ending
What was the last thing you did before you went to bed lastnite?
texted jon
Do you currently have feelings for anybody?
confusing
Did you mean it when you said "I love you" last?
i'm sure i did, because it was to a family member
Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you?
yea, i'm a "slut face" but w/e
List three things near you?
cell phone, pillows, diet pepsi
Is your birthday soon?
noooo
Do you like winter?
for christmas and snowboarding
Are you friends with your ex?
kinda
When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
today
Who did you spend your summer with last year?
the gang, April, Kade, Kevin, Cherokee, Danae, Tim, all them folks
Did you wear what you are wearing today for a specific reason?
yea, i didn't want to wear jeans AT ALL
What's bothering you right now?
isn't that the third time i've been asked that
Have you lost friends in the past year?
yeah i guess
Have you and the last person you kissed ever talked about going out?
we have talk about it, haven't done so though
What does the last text message in your inbox say?
too long to type
Tell me about the outfit your wearing
my brown business casual outfit
What color are your nails?
clear polish
What's your favorite song at the moment?
don't have one.
Jessie, yes, but not Jessica
You watch 'The Simpsons' right?
used to
Is there a girl that you would do absolutely anything for?
family
Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
I'm just in a bad mood.
Have you ever been cheated on?
Not that I'm aware of
Are you dating the last person you talked to?
nope
Would you consider painting your bedroom purple?
no
Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
dillards
Are there any posters in your room?
no
Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
not particularly, they're kinda expensive
What is stressing you out most right now?
school
Are you a talkative person?
at times
What kind of neighborhood do you live in?
a "dangerous" and "impoverished" kind of one.
Does the smell of cigarettes, weed and beer repulse you?
not really. of the 3 beer bothers me the most
What was the last thing that made you crack up hardest?
Jon's laptop talking to him
What was the last thing you tripped over?
the new furniture, not used to it
Do you think mailmen deliver their own mail?
i would imagine. But they may also use po boxes, for pure convenience
Will you be one of those old people with 11 cats?
never, i can't stand pet hair
Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies?
yep
Have you ever been called beautiful?
sure
Take your pick, cupcakes or muffins?
uh cupcakes duh, frosting = sugar
Do you like waffles?
frozen waffles, not big on the fresh ones
Do you wish someone would call you?
not really
Have you ever heard a young child swear?
my brothers swear a lot
Your phone rings. What is your ring tone?
idk, some generic nokia ring tone
Did you go anywhere today?
school, otl, Jon's, home
Anything upset you lately?
yep
How is your hair?
blah
who's house did you last walk to?
I don't really walk anywhere.
Last time you had someone sleep over? And who?
it's been years. Friends never come to my house
What's bothering you right now?
my mood
Do you get jealous easily?
yeah, very much so
Do you have any plans for the day after tomorrow?
thursday, no.
What time did you wake up today?
5:45
What were you doing two nights ago?
sunday, I went to fellowship
Name something you can't wait for:
high school to be over
How much cash do you have on you?
none, twenty in my purse though
What were you doing at midnight last night?
texting in my sleep, haha found that out this morning
Are you happy with the way things are going in your life?
yea
Can you easily tell if someone's fake?
it takes me a few encounters, but i can usually tell
Is there someone you don't ever want to be out your life?
family
Is it hard for you to get over someone?
no, not at all
Does someone like you right now?
i'm not sure
Can you call your ex without it being awkward?
no, it would be pretty awkward
Do you still talk to the person you last kissed on the lips?
yeah
Will you be in a relationship one month from now?
i dont think so
Could you go a day not talking to the last person you kissed?
i could, but i usually don't
Is your room ever clean?:
no
Do you drink bottled water?
when we have it at home
Honestly, are things going the way you planned?
can't say they are
Do you hate the last person who called you?
it was my mommy, so no
Think back five months ago, what was your relationship status?
single, as I am now.
Name something you liked about the day you're having?
I felt very productive in newspaper
Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
i've been in a bad mood this afternoon
If you are being extremely quiet, what does that mean?
im probably pissed, or annoyed
Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them?
yea, i guess so
Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single?
I believe he is
Does anyone disgust you?
that's a little harsh, but there are a few ppl that nearly disgust me
When was the last time you cried?
within the last week, i think
Why was that?
emotional about school ending
What was the last thing you did before you went to bed lastnite?
texted jon
Do you currently have feelings for anybody?
confusing
Did you mean it when you said "I love you" last?
i'm sure i did, because it was to a family member
Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you?
yea, i'm a "slut face" but w/e
List three things near you?
cell phone, pillows, diet pepsi
Is your birthday soon?
noooo
Do you like winter?
for christmas and snowboarding
Are you friends with your ex?
kinda
When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
today
Who did you spend your summer with last year?
the gang, April, Kade, Kevin, Cherokee, Danae, Tim, all them folks
Did you wear what you are wearing today for a specific reason?
yea, i didn't want to wear jeans AT ALL
What's bothering you right now?
isn't that the third time i've been asked that
Have you lost friends in the past year?
yeah i guess
Have you and the last person you kissed ever talked about going out?
we have talk about it, haven't done so though
What does the last text message in your inbox say?
too long to type
Tell me about the outfit your wearing
my brown business casual outfit
What color are your nails?
clear polish
What's your favorite song at the moment?
don't have one.
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